College students abusing credit is very common nowadays. In the student essay "Example Student Writing," Richard Hatch writes about the issues that college students encounter with the misuse of credit cards. Hatch introduces three different sources and synthesizes them. Each source has a different view. The first source Eric Hoover reports on the impact of credit problems on college campuses. In the second source, Charles Haddad explains the impact of this crisis on the other parts of the economy. Finally, James A Roberts presents research to explain the problems with college students and credit. Throughout the essay Hatch uses these three sources to argue his thesis that by using different tones and examples aimed toward different audiences, these arguments present very different views of college students, ranging from sympathetic to accusing.
In my opinion this is a very poorly written synthesis for a couple of reasons. First of all, the thesis of the essay is very poorly written and is very vague. Without a strong thesis it makes it hard to prove a strong argument or prove the thesis. Along with the poor thesis, the conclusion is also vague, because the conclusion is a recap of the argument. The second thing that makes this a poorly written essay is that the introduction paragraph basically sums up the whole essay and explanatory paragraphs are not even needed. The intro shows what each article is saying and the audience can be gathered by the title/publisher of each article.
Out of all the student example synthesis essays, I believe that the strongest essay is the synthesis essay that Drew Lachey wrote. Lachey wrote about the right to vote and the first line in his essay grabs your attention immediately by saying that the most important duty Americans have is to vote. The essay is strong throughout and keeps the readers attention while staying focused on the topic. Lachey presents the best essay while in my opinion Hatch writes the worst.
Jordan Engel
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
More than a Barrier
Illegal immigration has been a problem in America in recent years. Many solutions have been proposed from a vast amount of viewpoints. Three different men wrote blogs about what they think should be done to solve the problem of illegal immigrants coming into America. Victor Davis Hanson, Senator Mike Crapo, and Trapper John wrote "The Global Immigration Problem," Immigration Policy Must Help Economy While Preserving Ideals," and "The Progressive Case Against the Immigration Bill" respectively. These three blogs state each authors arguments of the reason they believe what they believe.
Victor Davis Hanson writes the blog "The Global Immigration Problem" and gives his idea that immigration is not just a problem that Americans are experiencing, but that immigration is a global problem. Also, Hanson believes that the solution to illegal immigration is for countries such as Latin America, Africa and the Middle East should encourage family planning and get smarter about using their plentiful natural wealth to keep more of their own people home. Hanson targets everyone as his audience. His message is that immigration is a global problem and needs to be sorted out at the roots. Hanson uses historical data to support his argument and make it more credible.
In the excerpt from "Immigration Policy Must Help Economy While Preserving Ideals," Senator Mike Crapo explains his support for a temporary guest worker program. Crapo believes that a guest worker program will stimulate the economy and will preserve American consumer goods and agriculture products. Crapo is arguing the case that a temporary guest worker program will help our economy. Crapo is targeting the group of people who are unsure on what to do about the issue, because anyone who knows about the guest worker program has probably already formed an opinion either for or against it.
Finally, "Trapper John,"the online identity of Jake McIntyre, expresses his opposition to the temporary guest worker program in his blog "The Progressive Case Against the Immigration Bill." McIntyre argues that a temporary guest worker program will change the current H-2B work visa, by having no requirements that employers pay the federally determined federal prevailing wages, and bring around 500,000 immigrants in the country with no chance at citizenship. McIntyre targets both the group of people who are undecided on what to do about immigration and also those who are already in support of the temporary guest worker program. McIntyre also uses specific numbers to make a better argument. McIntyre is opinionated in his blog, but not overbearing to the point where someone would want to stop reading. "Trapper John" ends with saying that something definitely needs to be done regarding the immigration problem, but is left unsure of what to do.
Jordan Engel
Victor Davis Hanson writes the blog "The Global Immigration Problem" and gives his idea that immigration is not just a problem that Americans are experiencing, but that immigration is a global problem. Also, Hanson believes that the solution to illegal immigration is for countries such as Latin America, Africa and the Middle East should encourage family planning and get smarter about using their plentiful natural wealth to keep more of their own people home. Hanson targets everyone as his audience. His message is that immigration is a global problem and needs to be sorted out at the roots. Hanson uses historical data to support his argument and make it more credible.
In the excerpt from "Immigration Policy Must Help Economy While Preserving Ideals," Senator Mike Crapo explains his support for a temporary guest worker program. Crapo believes that a guest worker program will stimulate the economy and will preserve American consumer goods and agriculture products. Crapo is arguing the case that a temporary guest worker program will help our economy. Crapo is targeting the group of people who are unsure on what to do about the issue, because anyone who knows about the guest worker program has probably already formed an opinion either for or against it.
Finally, "Trapper John,"the online identity of Jake McIntyre, expresses his opposition to the temporary guest worker program in his blog "The Progressive Case Against the Immigration Bill." McIntyre argues that a temporary guest worker program will change the current H-2B work visa, by having no requirements that employers pay the federally determined federal prevailing wages, and bring around 500,000 immigrants in the country with no chance at citizenship. McIntyre targets both the group of people who are undecided on what to do about immigration and also those who are already in support of the temporary guest worker program. McIntyre also uses specific numbers to make a better argument. McIntyre is opinionated in his blog, but not overbearing to the point where someone would want to stop reading. "Trapper John" ends with saying that something definitely needs to be done regarding the immigration problem, but is left unsure of what to do.
Jordan Engel
Thursday, November 5, 2009
A Wall of Difference
Ever since the foundation of the United States of America, the United States has been a a place for immigrants to come to start a new life. America is still made up of immigrants, but there are also immigrants that come into the country illegally.Dee and Byron Williams both wrote blogs regarding the immigration issue. "Dee," a Mexican-American woman, wrote a blog about the Pro Profile and the ANTI Profile of immigration issues. She argues that the Pro profile consists mainly of Hispanic Americans and that 12M(12 million immigrants) are beneficial to society. Dee also argues that the ANTI Profile is a group that are mainly of white or Northern European ethnicity. The ANTIs are described as angry radicals that want to build a 2000 mile wall keeping immigrants from the south out of America. Byron Williams, a Californian pastor, poses the point that issues and problems with immigration is not just a factor of the immigrants. Small businesses that are looking for cheap labor are hiring illegal immigrants and they are partially to blame for the illegal immigration. Williams also explains how each individual must come to their own decision on what they feel about immigration. Williams ends with the idea of an authentic policy and in order to have an authentic policy about immigration we must first have an authentic policy debate which does not include unnecessary ingredients and that ultimately lead to dehumanization.
Dee and Williams are appealing to different audiences and used different ways of developing their points. Dee was very opinionated in her blog and it shows in her writing that she is biased toward pro immigration and earned amnesty. Dee is the descendant of immigrants and directs her blog toward people who support earned amnesty. Dee speaks highly of the Pros is very condescending toward the ANTIs. The ANTI profile that Dee explains is a bunch of white radicals who want to build a huge wall to keep all immigrants out. She fails to mention other reasons and groups that may be against immigration.
Williams, on the other hand, uses a different approach when speaking about the immigration issue. Williams understands that immigration is a large issue and uses a more subtle tactic to get his point across. Instead of targeting a specific group, he targets everyone as a whole and presents a non-biased reasoning to why we need a policy debate. Also, Williams does not use any negativity toward a certain group as Dee does. Williams thoroughly explains reasons and constructed a blog that naturally leads up to his conclusion that in order for anything to be solved regarding the immigration we must first have a policy debate that does not dehumanized anyone.
Dee and Williams develop two completely different blogs with different opinions. Dee uses a more upfront approach to her blog to state her view of the immigration issues. Williams uses a more moderate approach of expressing his opinion without offending a specific group. When opinions are expressed, many different tactics can be used. Dee and Williams show two of the numerous different ways that someone can express their view.
Jordan Engel
Dee and Williams are appealing to different audiences and used different ways of developing their points. Dee was very opinionated in her blog and it shows in her writing that she is biased toward pro immigration and earned amnesty. Dee is the descendant of immigrants and directs her blog toward people who support earned amnesty. Dee speaks highly of the Pros is very condescending toward the ANTIs. The ANTI profile that Dee explains is a bunch of white radicals who want to build a huge wall to keep all immigrants out. She fails to mention other reasons and groups that may be against immigration.
Williams, on the other hand, uses a different approach when speaking about the immigration issue. Williams understands that immigration is a large issue and uses a more subtle tactic to get his point across. Instead of targeting a specific group, he targets everyone as a whole and presents a non-biased reasoning to why we need a policy debate. Also, Williams does not use any negativity toward a certain group as Dee does. Williams thoroughly explains reasons and constructed a blog that naturally leads up to his conclusion that in order for anything to be solved regarding the immigration we must first have a policy debate that does not dehumanized anyone.
Dee and Williams develop two completely different blogs with different opinions. Dee uses a more upfront approach to her blog to state her view of the immigration issues. Williams uses a more moderate approach of expressing his opinion without offending a specific group. When opinions are expressed, many different tactics can be used. Dee and Williams show two of the numerous different ways that someone can express their view.
Jordan Engel
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